Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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