But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
