I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize