3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
