i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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