She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
