Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
