Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
