Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
