I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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