i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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