im drinking this country out of the recession.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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