The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize