I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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