I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
