Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
