Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
