no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
