4 words: hood of his car
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
