I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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