What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The adults are the big ones right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
