farters have to be the big spoon...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
