it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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