the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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