OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize