She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
