Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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