But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
two words...techno handjob
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
