Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
