I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So much rum. So many feels.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
