Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
