I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
