in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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