Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
