Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
did you just send me my own nude
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
