But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
