capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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