he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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