idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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