I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We talked him into tasing himself.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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