I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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