Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
