Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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