covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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