so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
