so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
