Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
