My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize