honey bunches of taint.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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