i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
