Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
