I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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