We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Randomize
