Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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