Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
