You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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