Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just had sex bonerless
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize