Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize