Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
