Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
